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    « October 2005 | Main | December 2005 »

    November 29, 2005

    Glue

    My kids are pre-schoolers, so they glue stuff. All pre-schoolers glue stuff. Always have. I was talking with my wife about paste-eaters I remember, and that cool rubber cement in the amber bottles with the rubber nib, when she interrupted to explain that pre-school glue is very different now. Totally.

    I know about sticks -- I'm not that out of it. But now, apparently, there's fast-dry white glue, and clear, and even purple, and sparkle -- it's glue technology run amok.
    So everything's changed completely. Right?
    Or, is the essence of the idea -- regardless of technology -- still putting just the right amount of glue in just the right place, so the thing you want to stick... sticks?

    Pre-school. Advertising. Pretty much the same thing.


    Related: Barn Roof, Tractor Hat


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    People will talk

    People talk about exceptional messages. People talk about exceptional products. People talk about exceptional service. That's the story we're about to tell a prospect.

    Our presentation is Thursday, and several people were just added to the meeting. So we need a few more of the spiffy binders we've ordered from Paperhaus. We really need them tomorrow. But we missed the FedEx pick-up. Dang. But wait. Christina just emailed. She left the store, and found a drop box. I didn't ask her to. I've never met her. I've only talked to her once on the phone. And I've only ordered from the store once before. Yesterday. But she did it anyway.

    That's the idea.

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    What's Wrong Here?

    051104_swa_people

    I logged on to print my boarding passes to come home from Thanksgiving, and found this picture gracing the front page of Southwest's site.
    Seems they have a new plane, co-branded with the NBA.
    Two classic mistakes:
    1. I don't know, or care, who these people are. (Clicking on the story, tells you they're part of Southwest's sports marketing department.) They're meaningless to anyone outside the corporation, though the story might not be.
    2. In a rush to name a plane something very "basketball," they've chosen to christen the thing "Slam Dunk One." Don't know about you, but the image of a slam dunk doesn't exactly coincide with my personal vision of quality air travel.

    If you're talking to yourself, you're not talking to customers.
    Names are important.


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    November 20, 2005

    DGTY

    Dscn0003_1

    DearGod-ThankYou.org
    A new, breakthrough, world-changing idea? No. A positive spin on an old one.
    A good idea for the season, the client, and well, just because it makes you feel good?
    Yes.


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    November 18, 2005

    Everything Matters. Really.

    Link:TARGET BEATS WAL-MART ONLINE
    Anyone who will give me five minutes to talk to them about total integration -- Everything Matters -- hears me talk about Target. When everything works together -- ads, online, in-store -- everything -- it all works better.

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    November 13, 2005

    Useless Conference, Useless Ad

    Seth Godin writes about useless conferences:
    Seth's Blog: How to Run a Useless Conference

    The same thought could be applied to almost any ad, or any kind of communication, for that matter. If you shoot for the middle, by doing what you've always done, or what everyone else is doing, nobody's going to pay attention.

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    November 09, 2005

    Squeezeable Relish

    Relish3_1

    I'm a hot dog guy. Mustard and relish.
    Since squeezable mustard, the only reason to send a utensil to the dishwasher has been relish. Even with that nasty problem of the first blast of mustard juice. With a nearby sink or dog bowl, that can be overcome. So, imagine my joy when I discovered squeezable relish in the fridge. My wife, clearly, wants to cut down on dirty utensils, too. Except for one thing:

    Squeezable relish is a really bad idea.
    Because what you get, squeezed onto your dog, isn't relish. It's pickle juice. Lots of it.

    If you're going to make something squeezable, that something should be a liquid. No matter how viscous. Actually, the thicker, the better. Too thin, and it becomes pourable. That's another blog.
    Ketchup is a liquid. Mustard. Caulk. Grape jelly even qualifies. Relish is not. At best, it's a suspension. But really, it's a bunch of small solids, and a lot of pickle juice. When the solids clog (an instantaneous thing), the juice is all you get. Relish should not come in squeezable bottles.

    They put relish in squeezable bottles because all the other condiments are there.
    "It works for them, so it should work for us."
    Bad plan for relish.

    Bad plan for advertising.


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    November 04, 2005

    Simple is important.

    Wow. Nietzsche in a marketing white paper.
    Never Eat Alone Blog has a downloadable PDF of a white paper by Antonio Lucio, SVP of Insights and Innovation at Pespi. It’s good. But almost completely un-readable. Fortunately, his comments in the blog post are a lot more user friendly.

    But the white paper is what struck a chord with me. Though probably not the one Mr. Lucio intended.
    Now, he is Antonio Lucio, of Pepsi. And I’m just Ernie Mosteller, of Galveston. He, obviously, could crush me like a bug.

    But it seems to me, a simple translation is this:
    • People like to talk to other people.
    • People don’t like to be force fed.
    • People are more informed now, so now they’re more selective.
    • People still react to brands with emotion.
    • They just want to be talked to like people.
    • Actually, they don’t really want to be talked to. They’d rather have a conversation.
    • People have a myriad of ways to interact with a brand, both positively, and negatively.
    • So, it’s important for a brand to tap into people’s emotions a lot of different ways.
    • But it's really important to maintain the essence of the brand across all of those ways.
    • Agency and client bureaucracy stifle the process.

    My big question for all of us: If you can’t say it simply internally, will you ever be able to say it simply – at all?


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    Thinker-Uppers

    Some time ago, I wrote a piece about my 4-year old’s attention span, and how it applies to advertising: Four Year Old Wisdom.
    This time, it’s about his perspective.

    Jackson is a smart kid. I’m sure all dads say that about their sons. I know it’s true, though. Yesterday, he was talking about the stuff he does in pre-school, and how he makes up games for himself, and for his friends to play. His focus was on explaining the details of various Calvin-Ball kinds of games, when my wife asked him if the other kids made up games, too. He said, “No, mommy – I’m pretty much the Thinker-Upper.”

    We talked about being a Thinker-Upper. How the world needs good Thinker-Uppers. How everything – from his favorite toy, to the car we drive, to his favorite websites, and the commercials on his favorite programs, is thought up by Thinker-Uppers. He thought that was pretty cool.

    Then I started thinking. About how scrambled the communications, entertainment – and therefore, marketing – landscape has become. About how agencies are flying in a thousand different directions to find the perfect way to get their clients messages to ever-increasingly disinterested prospects. About how none of the old formulas work like they used to. And how new formulas are invented every day – to work for awhile, then be supplanted, or oversaturated, and eventually dropped.

    It seems to me that agencies everywhere are struggling to define themselves as something that sounds really impressive in the midst of all this mess. Integrated strategists, or techno-pioneers, or post-modern design-centric boutiques, or grassroots blogvertisers, or any number of other descriptions that basically center on one formula or another. When, really, what an agency should be is much simpler, yet at the same time, much more complex:

    We need to be good Thinker-Uppers.


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    November 03, 2005

    The Universal Jerk

    Doesn’t it go without saying that our true nature is most evident in the way we treat those below us in the chain of command? If you’re nice to your boss, but scream at your assistant, doesn’t that pretty much make you a universal jerk?

    That’s why I always chuckle when I hear agencies moan about how unfairly they’re treated by clients. And why I laugh out loud when they complain about spec work.

    Yesterday I got a call from one of my reps. She got a call from a producer who just absolutely had to have a particular spot I did a long, long time ago. I actually still show the spot occasionally, because it has held up well. But, I’ve heard this call a hundred times before. Needs the spot overnight. Because of one particular scene. Can’t use the one on the web. Has to have a DVD. ASAP! It’s a really, really big project….hint, hint.

    It’s clear the agency needs it for a rip-o-matic. And that’s fine. So, say it.
    Say the words: “We want the scene for a rip-o-matic, and we’re not even thinking about bidding you on this project.”

    It’s the truth, and it’s really, really obvious. Maybe you’ll get the spot, just for being truthful. Maybe you’ll get it because you’re not treating the production company as if you think they’re stupid. Maybe not. In that case, maybe you’ll have to work a bit harder to convey the concept to the client. But at least you won’t be a universal jerk.

    I would have never written this column a year ago, because it would have cut my business in half. At least.

    The biggest reason for launching Tangelo Ideas, obviously, is to continue to make a decent living while creating engaging advertising I enjoy. Perhaps my views on how advertising can and should be different will attract enough clients to make that happen.

    But another very big reason is to run a business that treats people fairly. I want to offer a high-quality service/product for a fair price – and treat those who work with and for me…fairly. In short, I want to do it honestly. I know. Call me crazy.

    So, here are a few of the things I’ve experienced from agencies, that I promise Tangelo Ideas, will never do:

    1. The rip-o-matic fake-out call. If I want a scene, I’ll tell you why. If you don’t want to, or can’t provide it, I’ll work harder and come up with something else.

    2. This one is my favorite: A couple of years ago, we were bidding on a job that was a potential reel piece. We wanted it, but the budget was tight. The producer kept complaining that the client wanted more out of the numbers. Every time she asked us to lower our price, we did. Five times, I think. Like I said: we wanted the job. So we cut everything out of the mark-up. Everything. We were, basically, offering to the job for free, because to do a good job on the production meant we had to leave money in the hard numbers. We were very specific about that, and the producer was, “Really happy to work with somebody who’s on the team.” When we got the call, the reason she gave for why the job was awarded to someone else was: “Your price was so low, it scared us.”
    If you just want numbers, just ask for numbers. Don’t be a jerk.

    3. I write pretty detailed treatments. You know what sucks? Writing a treatment that basically completely re-writes and re-designs the spot, only to see your ideas executed by another production company. Want to work again? Keep your mouth shut.
    What was that complaint I heard about agencies being asked for spec work?

    4. I hired an art director to design a set. The set he designed was spectacular. Only, the agency art director didn’t like a couple things. Well, actually, it was more than a couple things. Ok, it was pretty much everything. So, the agency art director completely re-designed the set himself. Completely. Nothing was left of the original design, except for the shape, which was dictated by the concept. It was ok, but not as good as the original. We shot the spot. The spot was a success. A big success. But the agency art director didn’t like the set we shot (the one he designed himself). So, six weeks later, on another job, the agency art director requested that my art director be removed, because, "that last set just didn't blow the roof off."
    If your ego fails you, try not to blame it on someone else.

    5. I pitched a job I knew I wasn’t going to get. The creative director has had a close relationship with one of my biggest competitors for years. Everyone around him is very aware of the relationship. Apparently, though, the creative director is unaware that everyone else knows. Anyone who knew anything about the job knew I wasn’t going to get it, including me. But I pitched anyway. Too much money to roll over dead. When the job went to the creative director’s buddy, I got an email from the creative director, explaining that the “client just thought it would be better to go in another direction… at least I think that’s what happened.”
    Losing the job didn’t make me mad. I was expecting it.
    It was that part about being addressed as if I’m an idiot. The world is smaller than you think.

    This is a rant, yes, but not a bitter one. So I’ll stop here, so you don't get the wrong idea. Rest assured, though, I have about six million stories, just like the ones above.

    The point is, there’s really no reason to be a universal jerk. It’s not a pre-requisite to creating advertising that’s good, and that works. It’s not the only way to succeed, or to keep your job. And, ultimately, it’s not the way to gain clients.

    Advertising is considered almost the least trustworthy of all professions. Right there with lawyers and used-car salesmen. The public doesn’t trust us, and neither do our clients. And we wonder why. I said it at the beginning, and I’ll say it here: Our true nature is most evident in the way we treat those below us in the chain of command. If you’re a jerk, the world knows.

    The DVD is on the way.

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